Partnering With Parents to Solve Everyday Childrearing Challenges 

By: Jennifer Saba

In January, child development and parenting expert Claire Lerner, LCSW, presented an engaging workshop on Partnering with Parents to Solve Everyday Childrearing Challenges. Claire highlighted her work that has developed from over 30 years of working with parents and children. In her practice, she noticed some common pitfalls that were getting in the way for parents when they tried to manage their child’s challenging behavior. She subsequently developed mantras for parents, or “Mindshifts”, encouraging parents to shift their thinking so they can guide their children more effectively. These Mindshifts can help parents set appropriate limits and boundaries while maintaining connection. For example, one Mindshift says, “My child needs me to give them what they need, not necessarily what they want.”

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Claire also described some traits of what she terms “Highly Sensitive” children and explained the strategies she uses when working with their parents. Highly Sensitive children are temperamentally wired to feel things more acutely and tend to have bigger reactions to everyday stimuli. She notes that these parents need more support to help their kids, who tend to have challenges transitioning from one state to another and who become rigid and inflexible when overwhelmed. Claire helps teach parents how to “adapt to the child they have”, in part by using a Mindshift that says, “I have a great kid having a difficult moment…and they need support to cope.”  Adopting these Mindshifts helps parents have more empathy for their child and reassures parents that they can help their child manage these big feelings. Claire wrapped up her workshop by providing some case examples and offered suggestions for cases presented in advance by attendees. It was a fun, interactive session with many great takeaways, and we appreciated how Claire provided practical strategies for providers and families that are also rooted in a relational approach.